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Q & A: "Am I Just Lazy?"

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Dillon (not real name) is an NLP TimeLine Client of mine.  This conversation occurred during a session:

Dillon:  For over a year I have been procrastinating sending in some forms that are important for my business.  I don't know why -- I don't just do it.  Do you think it's because I'm just lazy?

Jane: Being lazy is never the reason why anyone doesn't do anything.  People always do what they conceive of as in their self-interest.  What causes people to do something that is often thought of as immoral, or lacking in character, is a misguided idea of what is in their self-interest.  And that's not a moral issue. 

There is a major confusion in relation to morality and self-interest.  A perspective coming from morality is shaped by some external idea of what you should or shouldn't do.  When you're focused in that direction, you're not connecting directly to life; you're not connected to your own direct experience.  Without being connected to your own direct experience, you have no real guidance.  You're stuck in repeating what others have been doing, or how they have conceived of things, possibly for generations.  This doesn't connect you with truth and what's real. 

Self-interest does connect you with truth and what is real.  But you have to evolve your self-interest toward "enlightened self-interest."  If your self-interest is connected to what really matters to you, what benefits your higher self, then it leads you forward and it can only have a positive result. 

Self-interest that is not enlightened is self-interest that is based on desires that are substitutes for what really matters to you, and that are an avoidance of present moment truth.  For example, eating unhealthy comfort foods can buffer you from feeling unloved or unwanted.  Eating unhealthy comfort foods is bad for you, so it's against your true enlightened self-interest.  You would go for these kinds of foods if you have unconscious limiting decisions* that you are, for example, not worthy of love, or have no value.

In your case, procrastinating getting something done that you know is important for your business could be, for example, because you have a limiting decision* that you don't deserve to succeed, or that you are inadequate, and so couldn't handle having lots of business come in.  You must have some kind of pain associated with getting those forms filled out, or you would have done it.  And so rather than this being a moral issue, it reveals an area in you that needs to be un-distorted.

You don't really desire to leave this task undone.  You just don't like the pain doing it brings up in you.  Calling it immoral implies that what you really desire is bad or wrong.  That idea originates from the concept of original sin -- that we are inherently bad.  If that were really the case, the only remedy would be for you to punish and repress yourself. 

But if you view this as simply dysfunctional, then there is a way forward, which is to un-distort your perception of reality, so you can move toward what really matters to you and what would truly benefit you. To really understand this is to understand that the human soul is inherently good, and that life (in its undistorted form) is meant to work. 

*Limiting decisions: An NLP term used in NLP TimeLine counseling sessions to mean unconscious decisions, made in early childhood, that are some form of that life doesn't work, and usually that there is something inherently wrong with you -- such as "I am powerless,""bad,""unlovable;""People can't be trusted," and so on.  Limiting decisions are never true.  NLP TimeLine counseling sessions facilitate clearing limiting decisions, in order to release the negative patterns in your life that are caused by them.  For more information on limiting decisions and NLP TimeLine sessions, go to: http://www.janecohencounseling.com/content/counseling-services

I invite you to leave any questions or comments in the below comments field.

Author's Bio:  Jane Ilene Cohen, Ph.D. is an Intuitive & Transformational NLP Counselor, and an NLP & TimeLine Master Practitioner and Hypnotherapist, with a private practice in San Diego North County (Encinitas). She does individual counseling with children and adults (includes the NLP TimeLine Process and hypnosis), works with couples, families and other relationships, and facilitates groups and workshops.  She is also the Founder of the "Life is Meant to Work" thought system.

For more about Dr. Cohen's counseling services, go to www.janecohencounseling.com/content/counseling-services .  For a free phone consultation to decide if this is right for you, or to make an appointment, call Dr. Cohen at (760) 753-0733.


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