Excerpt from a TimeLine Session with a client I'll call Martin (not his real name)
Martin is having problems in his marriage. His wife likes to always be in charge and generally insists on things being her way. She has very strong desires and opinions about everything, and is not open to what matters to others. Martin, on the other hand, isn't much in contact with what he wants, but generally finds himself "going with the flow" in life. Going with the flow has generally worked out well for him, and he seems to find interesting opportunities for himself that way. But in his marriage it's causing major problems.
Jane: Going with the flow is basically moving along with where the real life energy is, which is a very important ability to have. But in this case, between you and your wife, it's instead a part of an emotional defense system. It's a part of a dysfunctional relationship between you. She becomes the flow for you. She determines what the flow is. Although, when she's doing that, she herself is not actually connected with the flow of life.
The issue is "Who is defining reality for you?" People often go along with what's happening around them as if that's just the way things are, not realizing that they are letting themselves be controlled by other people's energy. That's very, very different than going with the flow of life. You have to be in contact with your self, with your enlightened self-interest, with your own present-moment direct experience in order to really be going with the flow of life. If you are not connected with that direct experience, and you let the flow of your energy be defined or controlled by someone else, it can be disastrous -- as you're finding out.
Martin: I guess you're then flowing down the wrong branch of the river.
Jane: It's not the river at all; it's someone's distortion of reality. Really going with the flow is directly connecting with reality, the heart of things, the real life energy -- which is what Divine Order is about. It's what makes things work.
When you're really going with the flow -- when you're really connected to the nature of the way life is -- then things works amazingly well. But when you let yourself be taken over by someone else as a result of not being connected to your own direct connection with life, that's when things get messed up in your life. It's limiting decisions* (such as "you can't trust your own perception of reality" or "life is not safe") that disconnect you from your own direction experience. This prevents you from accessing your own path in life.
*Limiting decisions: An NLP term used in NLP TimeLine counseling sessions to mean unconscious decisions, made in early childhood, that are some form of that life doesn't work, and usually that there is something inherently wrong with you -- such as "I am powerless,""bad,""unlovable;""People can't be trusted," and so on. Limiting decisions are never true. NLP TimeLine counseling sessions facilitate clearing limiting decisions, in order to release the negative patterns in your life that are caused by them. For more information on limiting decisions and NLP TimeLine sessions, go to: http://www.janecohencounseling.com/content/counseling-services
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Author's Bio: Jane Ilene Cohen is an Intuitive & Transformational NLP Counselor, and an NLP & TimeLine Master Practitioner and Hypnotherapist, with a private practice in San Diego North County (Encinitas). She does individual counseling with children and adults (includes the NLP TimeLine Process and hypnosis), works with couples, families and other relationships, and facilitates groups and workshops. She is also the Founder of the "Life is Meant to Work" thought system.
For more about Jane's counseling services, go to www.janecohencounseling.com/content/counseling-services . For a free phone consultation to decide if this is right for you, and to make an appointment, call Jane at (760) 753-0733.